Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Making Peace

I spoke to my friend yesterday for the first time in 8 month.

I'm still angry at him. I understand, however, that it's not his fault. Regardless, fault has very little to do with this - he understands what his responsibilty is - to pay me back. I am very encouraged to hear that he has taken 2 jobs to help out with the repayment. He is at least making an effort, which is all I really wanted to see.

I forgot, somewhere in my mad rush to stay in California is how important my friends are to me. Sure, they can be demanding at times. So can I. My friends have my back, I have theirs. Sometimes, its really just that simple.

****

Things haven't been going well since my bar exams started. I've been behind at lot of times for my bar exam review. I've had some significant problems on the home front. My laptop has crashed and I'm facing the prospect of having to handwrite my exam. I've basically screwed up on my part time gig because of having to deal with too many things at once.

I've fought back. I'm speaking with my boss to see if I can extend my probation period to a month AFTER I clear my bar exams, and he sounds agreeable to that. I'm practising handwriting my exams. It slows me down. It also forces me to stop writing fluff and concentrate on what's really important.

There is nothing I can do about my problems on the home front. Ultimately, though, my problems on my home front are not my problems.

I've forgotten what it was like to have my balls to the wall. Now I remember. The world may beat me up, but it will never keep me down. This time I -know- it's me. Every part of me. Especially the relationships that keep me strong.

Besides, nothing annoys God more than a moving target.

6 comments:

-ben said...

Hang in there, Anthony.

I'm having a tough time over here too.

'Will keep you in my prayers.

Your last line made me laugh.
Reminds me of Conan the Barbarian and his attitude towards Crom, his God.

Anthony said...

Ben,

Thanks. I could use the prayers.

I recall the line. One of the Governator's best lines.

alchemist said...

"They make a desert and call it peace."
"They make a dessert and call it cheesecake."

Same old. I don't think it's much comfort for you to know that I think about you an average of about five times a week. I know you'll survive though. There is evidence to suggest you will. *grin*

Anthony said...

alchemist,

Aye I will. Prayers and thoughts are appreciated though. :)

dawndie said...

Hey Kace,

I'm really sorry to hear that your laptop crashed. =( That happened to me once but I had the school's computer lab to run to then.

For all that it's worth, good luck for your exam!

What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger!

Slinky said...

I'm sorry to hear things are going crazy. I would probably fling myself into the Swan if my laptop crashed - it's my sole link with the parts of the world I'd much rather be in. Re the home front problems - good luck with that. It's tough when everything happens to once. Good luck.