Monday, August 20, 2007

A Mental Barometer

My competence in swordplay is inversely proportionate to how troubled my mind is.

Yesterday marks one of the best sessions I've had in a long, long while. I scored a couple of decent hits on Greg and while my swordplay was still sloppy and far from competent, I am beginning to stop anticipating how things would go and try to react to certain attacks, defenses and the such. A small but significant improvement from previous sessions of getting whacked senseless.

I will make no bones about it. I know that my recent decisions have hurt someone I care very much about. I also know it's the right decision. The strain I've been labouring under for a long time is gone. It shows. I am sad, angry, depressed and my heart is aching, but my mind is clear and filled with purpose again.

Tome says I'm becoming predictable. Perhaps I am. Perhaps I am just developing my own style. Feints are not my style. Positioning beyond what is necessary to get a decent strike in is beyond me at this point. My sword and wrist work is credible but not fantastic. My greatest strength is currently close-in, in-your-face combat, where I can bring my (relative) power and stability to bear.

I know I have a long way to go to address my weaknesses, but for the first time in a long while, I feel like I know where I am going.

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